Vincent Safuto’s Weblog

Notes and observations

Going ‘cold turkey’ on online dating

Last month, amid great fanfare, I declared defeat in the realm of dating and decided that I was going to stop wasting my time and efforts on the dating sites.

So far, I’ve never felt better and have never regretted the decision.

The simple reality is that I was finding no one who met my standards on those sites, and I seemed to not meet anyone’s standards. Rather than endure another array of “first dates” that go nowhere, I decided that I need to stop bothering women.

Let’s face it, the last few I met online were not all that inspiring to me. I know it’s impolite to mention it, but one was so huge she almost couldn’t fit into the front seat of my Mustang. Ditto for another. Another had really short hair and dressed very badly for our date. Let’s just say that platform flip-flops are not suitable dating attire, even for casual dressing.

And the last person, the one who made me swear off women, basically announced that she was looking for a “buddy,” not a boyfriend. I cut it off with her; sorry, people, I’m into this because I expect a relationship of some kind to ensue. Life is too short and my wallet is too empty to spend large sums of money on endless “hands-off” dates, just to learn that there will never be anything beyond that.

Of course, I’m far from perfect. At age 50, short, bald, thick around the middle and boring as hell, I’m hardly the pick of the litter. And since I never became a drug addict or alcoholic, but instead worked nights and weekends, going with me means sitting home alone on Friday and Saturday night while I work.

I told someone the other night that I won’t be able to really try to date women until after I retire since I can never get a day-side with weekends off job.

There was a time when online dating was about matching people; today, it’s about search engine optimization, pitching dubious products and services, and extracting credit card numbers. Believe me, if I could I’d try to meet people on my own, but so long as my Friday and Saturday nights are spent on the job, there’s no point in wasting my time or anyone else’s.

And using online dating sites is the biggest time waster there is.


May 15, 2011 - Posted by | Life lessons, Living in the modern age | ,

1 Comment »

  1. Hi thanks very much for this great info that’s what I was looking for.

    Comment by marcus | July 29, 2011 | Reply

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