Vincent Safuto’s Weblog

Notes and observations

Secrets of the over-50 job hunter

It’s a staple of local print or TV journalism: the business owner whining and crying that he or she can’t find reliable, quality workers.

Oh, they get plenty of applicants for every job, but they’re all semi-literate, have multiple tattoos or facial piercings, or if they’re hired are impolite to customers or don’t show up.

“Americans don’t want to work,” the business owners whine. “They’re stupid, lazy, brainless dolts.”

Well, people, before you come to that conclusion, ask the business owners if they’re using a Unicru test to weed out job applicants, and ask how many resumes they are throwing out because the applicants are over 50. I’ll bet they claim that they don’t know.

It’s pretty much an open secret in American business, known in every human resources office, that the first priority is to clean a business of all people over a certain age, and not hire any more, except for very high-level executive positions. Workers over 50 may be able to do the job and do it very well, but they cost more than a kid just out of college, and if you gripe enough you can just import young kids from overseas to do the job.

Some places import workers, make them work, then don’t pay them and leave them to find their country’s consulate so they can get a ticket home. Can’t do that with Americans. And Americans have the audacity to go looking for better jobs.

Look, I know that I’ve sent out lots of resumes, and nearly all have ended up in the trash. I stopped applying for retail jobs because of the idiotic Unicru test, and the knowledge that no one wants a 51-year-old man working in their store.

Fortunately for me, I can still freelance, but I tend to believe that my prime working years are over. No one is ever going to give me a good-paying job with benefits when there’s a kid out there who’ll work for a lot less.

I should have done drugs as a teenager. Then at least today I could be a drug counselor and land a cushy job telling kids to just say no.

So businesses, keep tossing those resumes from people over 50. But stop whining about how there are no qualified people left. There are such people, but you’re too blind to see them.


May 31, 2012 - Posted by | Life lessons, The jobless chronicles | , , , , ,

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